tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-171530622024-03-07T11:02:44.459-05:00The Killer Strawberries Hockey ClubThe official Killer Strawberries Hockey Club WebsiteKiller Strawberrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16858899673411820404noreply@blogger.comBlogger409125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-23802358300451711912019-05-17T14:19:00.001-04:002019-05-17T14:19:26.979-04:00A Killer Strawberries Ditty <br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">10 to 15 years ago, the Killer Strawberries had a good run and were almost undefeated. They played for the league championship 4 or 5 years in a row, winning twice. The following is a conglomerate mishmash of that time, which could ring true for any of the games played during that time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here’s
a small tale of a Strawb’s game of shame<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Which
sums up the way they played every game<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">From
battles of glory to being robbed as well<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There’s
no shortage of stories and lies to tell<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Butcher
Brophey brought a tear to my eye<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As
he speared his way to an early goodbye<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Gawdawful
Gumby kept singing the blues<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Because,
of course, Devono hadn’t a clue<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Pajama
Man went home to bed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He
was tired of hooking, or so he said<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Vice, as it turns out, wasn’t in on the con<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And
before you knew it he was gone Dad gone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Marquis de Save couldn’t save the game<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was
too far gone, ain’t it a shame<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Warren
Peace showed up late<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Gave
it his all, till he got the gate<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mayor
Maynot couldn’t decide<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Go
forward or back or keep shooting wide<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Shiny
Sean Brightly was all lit up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Incensed
at the cross check from one young pup<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Freight
Train Laronde stayed right on track<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Even
and cool as was his knack<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Slickery
hickory-dickoried the ice<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Felling
everyone he thought didn’t act nice<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dr.
Thug hooked, clutched and grabbed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mauling
the enemy till he too was nabbed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mag Boy
raced and foamed like a shook up can<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He’s
come a long way since Magnesium Man<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Ice Marshall’s wig was on straight and tight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Cautioning
the transgressors as was his right<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now
as some of the Strawbs have gone to seed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There’s
a new batch causing their foes to bleed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Ripping
through games like a team on a mission<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">They’re
carrying on the Strawb’s fine tradition<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Names
of some other Killer Strawberries who have “gone to seed”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Harry
Burton, Brian Anderson, Derek Viking Ericson, Amanda Bradford, Lori Springall,
Karen, Lise Paxton, Serene Dean, Moses McLean, Snowtop O’Farrell, Devon
Dirvish, Bing Crossbar, Tom Wagner, Dash Headlong, Fis-sure Man, Johnny
-2-Good, Philly Cheesekates, Fis-T, Sarge, Archilies Perron, Jesse the Leak, Roy
Cox, Smokey, John John John, Warney Richardson<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Rob Greenfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13173761045872481676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-21595957765091931332019-03-14T15:15:00.002-04:002019-03-14T15:50:15.279-04:00NinnyHammer Hockey<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Still undefeated in regulation</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">(Record 11-0-1-1)</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">The Strawbs last 2 regular season outings were rough and tough clinchers.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Itis man's hockey out there, but it will be noted and further dwelled upon that the last two wins were delivered by a net minder self identified as a 5ft 1/2" tall cisgen female to be specific. First she played Double Trouble and handed them a loss. And the Cat came back for our </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">pre playoff finale vs the Cry'n Hawaiians. The display of competitive rivalry between these two titans did not disappoint the onlookers and small gaggle of comfy </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">designer</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">pant wearing Strawbetts. It was rough, sometimes dirty and most of the time verbally brutally. Halfway through the first period the refs inserted ear plugs and insisted that small children be seated inside. In between plays, </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">Turn-Around-Turner</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;"> was seen jotting down some of the verbally smutty material </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">on his mini 2x3 note pad.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">None of that matters now that the Strawbs have finished in first place. Katniss was in goal snagging sneaky snipes out of the air before they became bar down </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">beauties</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">. While the net was easy to defend she could not defend our rate of infractions and advised against anymore penalties. </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">With the net secured, the Strawbs could focus on the task at hand and break the curse of Lenny. And with that t</span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">he Sny'N Polynesians were defeated 6-4. Some would say 7-4, but the zebra's discounted an open net buzzer beater.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Neil Ha-trick Harris owned the crease netting at least 1 and maybe more. His Hat-trick could have been possible if not for the vision impairment caused by several layers of duct tape securing his helmet to his body in an attempt to prevent his bucket from being dislodged and thrown at Mag-boys kids again.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Slickery sniped one as well but then received a nasty gram cross check to the head followed later by slashing, body checks, deep lacerations to the hockey socks and plenty of lip action. With all the abuse, Slickery resided to passing and staying out of the mess or else completely go Champ on the Hawaiians. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">With his new mindset, he quickly became the play-maker feeding the puck to the team points leader and on-ice personal and financial help counselor, Turn-Around-Turner who topped the radar at 60km/h to score a tap in when 55km/h would have been sufficient. Magboy was turning out smashes and hits faster than the Back Street Boys with the exception of their Christmas album. Lanzy and Deeking Derek hammered the zone with speed and pressure often wearing out the Hawaiian's defense to the point where they crawled to their bench.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Dr. Thug owned the neutral zone. In fact he recently closed on the sale of all land between the blue lines in all North Bay arenas, a purchase that required him to sell his estate with the exception of his wife and hockey equipment. According to the municipality, since he owns the land, he must provide his own Zamboni services for those portions of ice. As a bonus, however, he can now legally thug anyone trespassing on his Iceland. There is rumor that while inhabiting Iceland he may never be coming to the bench again... ever.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Our defensive goons received their fair share of penalties while holding the garrison around the blue paint. Defensive team goon Mayor Maynot, and the nicest referee you will ever meet, added to his impressive 22 penalty minutes on the season. Shinny, desperate to keep the pineapples away, was seen delivering Costco size can openers so big that Butcher Brophey would think it was excessive. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Ex-dough boy Foisy raised his voice so high that Elexa enabled devices picked up his voice commands. He too was sent to the box for engaging in rough play and verbal dysentery. Shortly thereafter, Amazon delivered tiaras and feminine products to the Hawaiian's bench. The packages were </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">quickly </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">signed for.</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Not all Strawbs could make the triumphant trek to the Terminal Tavern, but of the nobel that did, 4 Buds, 2 Northern Superior, 1 Shock top, 3 water, 1 french fry, 5lbs of wings, 14 carrot sticks, 2 ranch dressings, and a lot of smack talk were consumed.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">(Minus any bread or </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">gluten</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> rich products)</span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;"><br /></span></span>DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-51035123333850490612018-11-05T10:20:00.001-05:002018-11-06T08:54:43.703-05:00The Landzy Land<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Undefeated</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">(Record 1-0-1)</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">The Riley/Landzy trade is topping the news feeds. The Strawbs acquired a first round pick and signed Landzy to a $50, 4 year contract with the Killer Strawberries. He has 4 years to give the executive 50 bucks. In the same trade the Strawbs sent burned out has-been rookie past-sensation, Riley Redfur, to the Nasty Cupcakes Sudbury's farm team where his duties include jockstrap repairing and mouth guard cleaning. The quality of hockey is so poor with the Sudbury farm team that Redfur has been driving back to North Bay on Sundays just for the privilege to play shiny with a few Strawbs. He is in awe of their caliber of hockey even when they've taken 90% off their game and play one handed.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">T</span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">he Strawbs have played 2 match-ups so far in the 2018-19 season.</span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">First the Flying Hawaiians were taken down in a 4-3 final ending in a shootout.</span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">There were only 7 battle ready skaters able to make the match. By the second period there were only 6 left for which to scrap with the pineapple huggers. Magboy, covering for the several missing defense, incurred 3 game infractions to earn him a seat in the stands. It is no surprise that fake referees targeted Mags, especially one particularly short zebra. From Magboy's new vantage point, the stands, he could observe and evaluate the old and new talent's abilities to handle the current situation of trailing by 2 goals, contending with a short bench and missing their best player. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">In typical Strawbs fashion, we gave up the lead early. It usually takes until the second period for the glucosamine pills to fully absorb and then the offense kicks in. </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Of notable mention was the play making of our top offensive</span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">defense-man </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">Wendel</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">who</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> wired a </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">wicked wild wrist'r within the wickets to whoa the witnesses watching while Lenny wept.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">By the last minute of play the </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Strawbs tied the game and forced a shootout</span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;"> to the bewilderment of the Hawaiians who by now had crude oil soaked wings and were about as helpless as a 1 legged senile chicken ridden with botulism (Moose takeout).</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">5 rounds of sudden death shots later and the Strawbs retired the evening undefeated in a 4-3 win.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">The Strawbs had a full bench in their next match against the Boozers. All rusty cylinders were firing, and the match went back in forth with scoring. Magboy was well behaved, no sin bin trips, saving his energy to be the offensive catalyst of play making for the top </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">Turnaround and Slickery </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">executive power line.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">The second scoring line of Landzy, Thug, Roussy and Hatrick Harris enjoyed their on ice admission to Landzy Land. </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">The Landzy Land, known as an event, is also a location situated anywhere between the </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">opponent's</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">goal line</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> and Landzy's stick, when he has the puck. As the </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">Hawaiians</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> and the Boozers have found out, they didn't have a ticket to Landzy land as the new rookie lit up the red light on a few dandy occasions.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">Turneraround and the Mayor had tripped and misapplied their strengths on so many Boozettes during the match that there was bench talk about a Me-too movement. It never materialized as all parties involved agreed that their behaviour paled in comparison to how Philly Cheese Skates treated the fairer gender. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">The score at the end of the 40 ish minutes was 4-4. Too bad Freight Train Laronde had retired his rail road tie hands long ago or that would have meant post game pitchers for everyone at the expense of the legendary steamer.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">With no promise of free fermented barley water, </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">no one gathered at the terminal tavern. Not even the Thug. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"><br /></span>DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-46117423701781324642018-03-17T10:33:00.002-04:002018-03-17T10:33:23.340-04:00Strawbs in Mexico - Foisy the bread lover<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-17963891680247434602018-02-24T09:09:00.002-05:002018-02-24T09:09:29.779-05:00 Push the Bannock Button: Strawbs Slaughterize Otter Eyes in Revenge Match Gone Awry<div style="background-color: white; direction: ltr;">
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<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Feb. 19 2018</span></div>
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">Strawbs vs Bannock Bums 4-1</span></div>
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">The pregame looked as precarious as Lenny’s snaggleteeth, as the Strawbs’ kryptonite meandered into the unsuspecting changeroom spewing lies, saliva and insults. The “Lenny Curse” was deemed “cursory” if anything, when the Strawberries overcame a Gumby-esque first frame. Speaking of the alumnus, fans and pundits mused whether he was in fact absent, or as present as usual on the mild Thursday night semi-final.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Turner and Buchwald joined up to form Buchwald Turner Overdrive as they continued to take care of business in the playoffs.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Shiny Sean Brightly, rowdy Roussey rallied and Neil Hat Trick Harris bagged a goal enroute to a 4-1 humbling of the Bannock Bums. Wendal, Ewart terrific</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Championship do or die on March 5th. You can buy the seat, but you’ll only use the edge!</span></span><br />
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DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-87645275346134970152018-02-06T12:58:00.001-05:002018-02-06T12:58:49.563-05:002017-18 Killer Strawberries<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-47063898389971952692018-01-09T22:32:00.000-05:002018-01-12T09:15:26.791-05:00Ruffled Feathers<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jan. 7 2018</span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Did we win the game? 10-4</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">The shots were just about 50 to 10 for the frustrated pile of yellow stained Pillows who were playing with a non existent bench.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">With no spares, their only break was time off served by earning the numerous penalties due to aggression toward the Strawbs executive Magboy, a stay at home forward who can instantly accelerate past the whole team in half the strides a cheetah takes to reach maximum speed. Typically the Mag deserves a little 2 by 4 to the mask, shines and lower thoracic, but their last act of malice was an open ice Body Pillow to the streaking Magboy. What the Pillow snuffers lack is respect. Unfortunately, it is not mandatory prior to Rec league signup, to read the 800 pages of vade mecums as transcribed in HTML, CSS and some bullshit and better known as KillerStrawberries.com. Save for the Ice Marshal's Heidegger like posts, the rest of the blog</span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> evokes religiosity in our foes and is known to instill</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> a certain respect toward the legend of the Killer Strawberries and their current active, potent but modest members. Such reading aught to be enough to avert such on ice warmongering.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Slickery, still adjusting to his new storm trooper bucket, was seen dropping bar down bombs on poor Lenny. This is no doubt a practice run for our next game against Lenny's for real team, the Flying Hawaiians in which we must break the curse of Lenny for real this time.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Turnanator II, new and improved from his rookie year and sporting a new poly metal alloy rib, has said hasta la vista to his defensive role in a trade for a big cheese goal scorer. The Executive moved him up to a forward because he was always putting the other forwards offside and/or spending too much time dangling behind the opposing team's net. According to his fit-bit's post game exercise summary, each goal burned 100 calories, and he traveled 7.4 kilometers during the game. On one particular goal his fitbit recorded this <a href="https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=redonkulous" target="_blank">redonkulous </a>GPS route through the opposing team and en route to his eventual record breaking slowest 4th-trick on record. TII's farcical displays are now property of Apple Inc. and saved in the cloud somewhere.... Pillow Cloud?</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">It would seem like decent odds that we would pull off a win with 7 against 5 if the shots were about even. They indeed were not. The Pillow Throwers tossed everything</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> they had at the amazing Kevin Quick Picks, also amazing at pro-line. If not for him the game may very well have ended much closer, say 12-3. At times he was marionette like resembling Marty Brodeur in the Enterprise commercial with his head still and appendages</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> downing shots and snuffing out any of the chance of the Pillows returning to the face off circle on their terms.</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> By the end of the 40 it was just Pillow Talk, and the Strawbs were undefeated in 2018. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">The rest of the tired old heap held their own. Nothing was consumed. The team dispersed as it was too late for any rendezvous anywhere other than with our favorite rectangular cloth bag stuffed with feathers.</span></span><br />
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DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-48664169449392911492017-03-24T16:16:00.003-04:002017-03-25T09:32:41.176-04:00B-Champs B-line and 2016-17 Closer<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>Regulation Record 11-9-0</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>Playoff 5-1</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">This is the first time I can recall a back to back B Champ season which is trending toward becoming a beer league dynasty for the Strawbs. Some of this year's success can be attributed to the voluntary displacement of several arthritis ridden metacarpals. While carpal creativeness isn't a requirement and is seldom rewarded, some ability to maintain digit diversity and at least some tarsal attentiveness contributes to a joint effort and an end product that is worth more than the sum of its arthritic parts. I don't know how else to articulate that.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">The final game was a battle from the start. The Strawbs gained a 3-0 lead early and then were forced to defend. Jesse started us off, then 68 years' worth of the talented Dr. Thug took over. </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">Marquis and the whole defensive unit were tough and effective. </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">Last but not least was the fury of Foisy. </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">It came down to the wire. It was a 3-2 Strawbs' advantage, but with 6 Boozers on 5 Strawbs and with 7 seconds left, a crease melee ensued. Bodies and fists were flying, Rossey and Turnaround were diving all over the place, Slicker was hacking, Jesse was politely suggesting an alternative means of expressing aggressiveness, and the Marquis was flailing like a beached whale trying to locate the puck. Astonishingly the puck stayed out. The head zebra emerged from the pile with 2 head strong 'Boozers refusing to be losers' under his armpits like Dad walking his 2 juvenile sons from the principal's office to the car. The game ended with those lucky seconds on the clock. Immediately the Strawbs, taking their second in a row Consolation Championship, lined up for the team photo.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Rewind 5 months. For this 2016-17 season, the executives invited 4 Newberries to the team: Stashery(Jessy), Roussy, Turnaround and </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">Foisy</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">. Roussy and Turnaround quickly became the team's goons. Having watched Badmoms and read several decade old Strawbs' blog posts, the duo quickly realized that the skates of the likes of Butcher Brophey had been unfilled for quite some time. The legends of the Butcher had made an impact on the naive impressionable Strawbs. One such legend of toughness was when the Butcher gnawed off half his own ass to streamline his body for more speed, a speed which he used to hip check his opponents into the rafters. The Butcher was known to have traces of spleen and kidneys on the blade of his stick. As everyone knows he never unpacked or washed his equipment or chainmail. The blood and body parts stuck to his jersey, pants and helmet were a constant reminder to his foes that when you mess with the Butcher, you get treated like a cadaver. Dr. Thug once reported that the Butcher's equipment might carry e-coli; so in 2004, Canadore instituted a full face mask rule so that players' mouths would not come into contact with the Butcher's equipment.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Anyway, our new goons took their rightful place and began their own campaign of collecting enemy body parts, blood alcohol levels and stool. They also notched many noteworthy goals and contended for the rookie of the year title. They will be permitted to attend the Nasty Cupcakes' training camp next season.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Foisy quickly become the team's pace setter by speeding up the Thug but slowing down the Magboy in order to pace the game out so there was enough effort left for a full 40 minutes. It wasn't until his late discovery of a gluten allergy that his game really picked up. Prior to his gastro-epiphany, Foisy enjoyed a life ruled by wheat. From his pre-game loaf of bread to his second period vegemite sandwich, he never complained that his belly was sore or that his neck rash hurt. It also explains why most of his shots were in the breadbasket. But since his gluten detox, Foisy has quickly become the most improved player. Now his only regret is the dough he wasted on his customized Strawbs Jersey. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">The most notable new addition to the team was Stashery (Jesse). In over 20 games he failed to take one penalty. He must either be on a steady prescription of Zoloft or have an incredible ability to ignore annoying whiny millennials. His concentration was scoring because he notched the most rookie goals which has earned him the ROTY trophy. He is also welcome to join the Nasty Cupcakes for the September training camp.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">Special thanks to the Ice Marshal</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">, G.A.W.D., the Butcher and the Vice for their playoff support. Lets not forget the Strawbettes that came out either.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">After the glorious finish, photo shoot, autograph session and impromptu chest tattooing, the Strawbs convened at the Wacky tavern, sat on their thrones and consumed 10 jugs of fresh spigotted ale, 18 juvenile chickens, 3 free appetizers, 1 water vodka and several bottles of glucosamine pills.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"><br /></span>DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-5564978403621639322017-03-21T08:57:00.000-04:002017-03-21T08:57:21.783-04:00Strawbs in Jamaica<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN3TfBfNj4TH_-370u7hueQ-krH9qJy73VSj7PJYNr32LwcGyEnLCChD4E1Jdbu068W1Qw4TEJGPyxLZVcxQCfOjfDVc7Sd4_twCWakDJ44BfUOIuYmH5Qd7nvsDUFLGEnFebnvQ/s1600/17361523_10155128699573104_2509471082693155056_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN3TfBfNj4TH_-370u7hueQ-krH9qJy73VSj7PJYNr32LwcGyEnLCChD4E1Jdbu068W1Qw4TEJGPyxLZVcxQCfOjfDVc7Sd4_twCWakDJ44BfUOIuYmH5Qd7nvsDUFLGEnFebnvQ/s640/17361523_10155128699573104_2509471082693155056_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<br />DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-64112016158965313692017-02-03T15:30:00.003-05:002017-02-04T09:44:53.549-05:00Savory Peppercorn Victory Sauce<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jan. 26-Feb. 2, 2017</span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; font-size: large;">4 Win Streak</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">(Record 10-9-0)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">You can age a steak for months in the right conditions, but you leave the milk on the table one night and you will be eating your cereal dry. </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">Aging and conditioning (decades of it) has proven to be the combination needed to take down the top A division teams. Every Strawb is firing on all steam pistons. Every play is planned, even the ones where the opponent scores. Every shot, pass, check, swear word now carefully executed so the Strawbs can crush the top crust teams while coasting into the playoffs in comfortable beer league fashion and still land in the B seed. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">First it was the Chiefs whose on ice council meeting failed to unanimously vote in a winning effort. </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Then the </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">under-age beer leagueing </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Jager Bombers suffered a sobering loss. Their stomachs were later pumped due to Kool-aid poisoning. OH YA. Who can forget about last night's pathetic gaggle of geese whose pecking and puck quaking was no match for Killer Strawberry Grade-A steak style hockey grilled to perfection. </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">The newly branded Puck Hogs (Free Agents) played with passion, but ... if not for fear of tetanus from their rusted out skate blades, the score might have been much higher against. Perhaps given 10-20 more free penalty shots, the outcome may have been different.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Putting aside all that, there is the magnificent executive scoring talent and boastful offensive defense portfolio put together by the Mayor, the Rousey and the Shinny, and did I mention the gratuitous skill and speed from the Strawbs executive Magboy, Shinny and Slickery? </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Again p</span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">utting that all aside, Dr Thug's skill has been peaking like a pressure cooker releasing its fragrance and overboosting release of scoring celebrating plenitude. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Wallee the Rookee of the Year is blowing the zamboni doors off each night with his Tyson Degrasse speed and his shark like blood thirst for red posts. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Turn Around Turner's run for Rookie of the Year isn't over either. His pacifistic enforcement style and robust ability to lay down from line to line, block shots, poke pucks to thwart offence has earned him the unofficial, yet to be popularized moniker of the Turnernator for his Turner style termination of the opponent's offensive chances. When Joe-so-Rousey takes a "hasta la vista" on his defense partner, you know what Turnernator will say, </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">"I'll be BACK... here". </span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">He has also been overheard supporting his fellow opponents who happen to be enrolled and heavily reliant on assistance such as The Income Assistance Program and Employment Insurance. Thanks for your support.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Both Marquis de Save and Joey Laporte et Fermé (never defeated) have literally shut the doors on the league's former best better teams. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">With only 2 games left until the split, the Strawbs look to defeat the Slingers and the Flying Hawaiians whom we have never beaten before. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">The team convened several times at the usual watering hole. 3 Stellas, 2 Bud, 2 Northern ale, a basket of strange beige things, 15 chicken parts and 1 lemon slice were consumed. The team card earned 83 points and NO! Phil did not show up in the second washroom stall at 11:15 Sharp on Mon. Jan 30 for manly discussions over best Strawberry penalties ever.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;"><br /></span></span>DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-33037398885122489462017-01-17T11:38:00.003-05:002017-01-18T08:57:46.623-05:00Drawing the Venetians closed<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">Jan 16 2017</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">Flying Hawaiians 4 </span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">Strawbs </span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">2</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Record 6-8-0)</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Marques de Save's return from last week's backwash meant a fighting chance to clip the wings of the flapping Hawaiians. The Strawbs settled in with great chances and adequate defensive efforts. The two lines (nice to have) picked away at broken down Baker, but his record speaks to his success; and failing to capitalize on our chances by some strange un-luck further points to the presence of an outstanding curse. The veterans Pyjama Man and Slickery were able to temporarily snap the curse's hold on the entire game by finding the mesh and earning a goal apiece. And the Marque was able to deny the flappers on several chances which should have been sure goals. Our 2 fans gave him standing O's for his illegal acts of grand theft. The larcenies were so grand that the victim has since taken out insurance on his shots. But despite the efforts, the additional curse of the blind zebroids (what you get when you mix a zebra and a donkey) really played a hand in this hard fought loss. And if you were there, you make up the 99.99% that knew that wasn't a goal. It is evident how the balance of power is upset by outside forces that should attempt to remain neutral.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Open your blinds man; you are killing the game.</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3rIbW1iR8ngS5qHH_zHDEw3D2o9Ob99K06OWLHrckRLXVLCng6300mWRFXN5AGhMMyq9uxvvgeQFspQ_SKTdbPmoMaS_3RrgRKZ7Z1EgGaLnz_gVsqLG2PFSJjGbo30PwNMWo5w/s1600/zebra+blind1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3rIbW1iR8ngS5qHH_zHDEw3D2o9Ob99K06OWLHrckRLXVLCng6300mWRFXN5AGhMMyq9uxvvgeQFspQ_SKTdbPmoMaS_3RrgRKZ7Z1EgGaLnz_gVsqLG2PFSJjGbo30PwNMWo5w/s400/zebra+blind1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;"><br /></span></span>DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-72482960109742242912016-11-28T12:28:00.001-05:002016-11-29T09:40:31.606-05:00Turnaround<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "times new roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Turnaround,<br />Every now and then he gets a little bit stronger<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">and his skating ability can be found<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Turnaround,<br />Every now and then he gets a little bit tired<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Of picking himself up off the ground<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Turnaround,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Every now and then he gets a little bit nervous<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">That the best of all the years have gone by<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Turnaround,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Every now and then he gets a little bit terrified<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When he sees the look in Devuono’s eyes<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Turnaround (Turn-er),<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Until we get to ‘B’ division<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Fall apart<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Turnaround (Turn-er),<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Until we get to ‘B’ division<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Fall apart<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And we need you now tonight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We facken’ need you more than ever<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And if you’re not there the lines will be tight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Even if you’re under the weather<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Not only will you make it right<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We’ll be playing hockey….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">….together we can take it to the end of the year<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Despite your real skill being drinking Wacky Wing’s beer….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We don’t know what to do,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">That includes offense, defense and Mark<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We’re playing like garbage, without any sparks<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We really need you tonight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Forever’s gonna start tonight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Forever’s gonna start tonight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Once upon a time we were playing in ‘A’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now we’re only falling apart<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">There’s nothing we can do<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When we play with a bunch of old farts<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Once upon a time there was a goal light installed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now when they score it’s just dark.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Nothing we can do<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When the gear is set to park</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">--Marquis de save</span></div>
DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-70389683217946661322016-11-14T12:19:00.001-05:002016-11-14T16:20:55.954-05:00From Draft to De Saved<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; font-size: 18.6667px;">Nov. 10, 2016</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">Strawbs 4 - Load Slingers .999 </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">Down 4 Strawbs. Ankle Turner potted his first goal as a Strawb on a nifty deke move while Dr. Thug cemented his 130441</span><span style="font-size: x-small;">st</span><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;"> goal since the Holocene period began but only his 8432</span><span style="font-size: x-small;">nd</span><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;"> since Yahweh flipped his staff around and wired the first fig into a fallen dragon blood tree. It's also noteworthy that the puck from Dr. Thug's first goal was found at the layer of sediment between Holocene and the Pleistocene period, so it is possible that he was playing hockey much before that.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">The Mayor also nested a dandy goal procured by his fine glass like footwork which he had developed through countless hours at ice capades'</span><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;"> practises. Maboy slipped a dandy reacharound goal past the slanky net slinger who was slung out to dry by his defence. Sarge and Rossey were bearing much of the defensive load to shut down any chance of the Slingers slanging. They may have accidentally interfered with the offensive duties of the power forwards and assisted on a few goals. They are forgiven.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">If not for sloppy tongues, the Strawbs wouldn't have filled the sin bin</span></span></span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;"> leaving the majority of the work to the seldom appreciated Marquis de Save who only faltered once during a 5 on 3. The Marquis' recent re-draft from the Nasty Cup Cakes, the Killer Strawberries'</span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;"> farm team's farm team, has obviously paid off. And let it be known, that as long is the score is in our favour, the executive will hold it's keyboard on written lashings and humorous derogatory similes. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">A few devout Strawbs convened late at the Terminal Tavern. 2 baskets of junglefowl, 1 Norther Ale, 2 Mill Street organic and 1 water with lemon were consumed. </span></span></span><br />
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<br />DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-62680036196950170932016-11-09T21:14:00.002-05:002016-11-11T09:02:44.694-05:00Still 2 to 1 after a recount<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">Mongeese 2 </span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">Strawbs </span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">1</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Record 2-3-0)</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Half of the executive was missing along with the entire 3rd line. When they return they will be moved to the 4th line, and Dr Thug will single handily shift the 3rd spot and likely kill any disease or adolescence that moves. The missing Strawbs were off to explore their partisan antidisestablishmentarianism south of the boarder at the Aloha Baby Compound in Oaho. For 89 bucks, transportation to and from the compound was provided. Paid for were meals, including the famous Humuhumunukunukuapua'a, and chips served with a gallon of mayo, drinks and diabetic medications.</span></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOmgJNvZWETKo0bC-5wyUZdAkYfIX9MBUU0-ZKvQLWr3oxrlcP1v0laUKhT27b6N7u_Vn3EzOJBLJzj2Pqn_FA2fUKkXEfARAcqtQ9ZXGs6z5VOpZPCiDhXH3DiWo0WQK4zCwELQ/s1600/Shinny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOmgJNvZWETKo0bC-5wyUZdAkYfIX9MBUU0-ZKvQLWr3oxrlcP1v0laUKhT27b6N7u_Vn3EzOJBLJzj2Pqn_FA2fUKkXEfARAcqtQ9ZXGs6z5VOpZPCiDhXH3DiWo0WQK4zCwELQ/s200/Shinny.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">Accommodations were in Oaho at the Ice Marshal's very own suits which often resembles the hotel room scene from <i>Hangover 2</i> the morning</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"> after a huge party. That S$#@ does not come off.</span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;"></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">While these 4 deserve to be tossed under the campaign bus, the rest of the Strawbs deserve credit for upping their game against the infamous Madgeese.</span></span></span>
<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">On defense, Mayor Maynot and the executive's own luminous Magboy were nothing shy of </span></span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">exemplary. When on the ice, goals against were as locked in as divide by zero mathematics. Fans flipped sides and started <strike>voting</strike> cheering for a new luminary leader and his Vice replacement, a sure sign of a bright future for the Mayor. </span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16.055px;">The other D's performance would only be notable had Magboy not dropped back to redefine the doctorate of successful defensivenessisiousity. But this top exec was also making the saves, and if the the Ice Marshal was reporting, he would say Magboy was as dependable as a 2 ply sheet of Bounty absorbing a spill of strawberry koolaid. Oh Ya!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Despite the score, the Strawbs led the game for the first period. The first marker was notched by the youngest addition, Stashery, the current front runner for the top rookie award. </span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Pyjama Man, back from his Astroville Hockey commissioner role, was as effective as an above average intelligent mule hyped up on coffee battling a case of restless leg syndrome. </span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">If not for Gristly son of Thorin, who was on hand to unseat conventional wisdom with calls straight out of the playbook of Donald, perhaps the end result would have been different. On one occasion he coasted through the legs of Turnaround Tuner and halted an otherwise normal play like Hefner sending the janitors home before bed time at the mansion. He once ordered a bewildered Mongoose to go back to the corner and fetch his teeth before he would allow play to commence. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;"><span style="font-size: 16.055px;">Only overcooked reef trigger fish, potato cuts, turbulence and Bruce Springsteen's greatest hits were consumed somewhere over the Pacific.</span></span></span></span><br />
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DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-5719203682904544462016-11-02T14:31:00.002-04:002016-11-02T16:17:29.614-04:00Jager on the Carpet<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #274e13; font-size: large;"><b>Oct 31 2016</b><b><br />Strawbs 4 - Jager Bombers <u>6</u> <br />(Record 1-2)</b><br /></span></div>
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<br />DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-44323852531370722072016-10-24T14:15:00.002-04:002016-10-24T19:02:29.654-04:00Results from effective team management<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">Strawbs 4 Boozers 2</span></div>
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">The Killer Strawberries pull off a classic strawberries win under the leadership of the new executive. It goes without saying that leaders lead by example and not by pointing in the direction of the goal. Unfortunately some of our rookies still need that kind of direction.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">Shinny Sean, with his certificate from an online hockey course entitled "Get your honorary hockey PHD for 39.99", played the Box Plus One defensive zone system. Fortunately the Boozers can't count that high and without a calculator on hand they were no match for this system.</span></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhna5yHtE-pqABGitkXQjLaQ6fCV2WsyNIc_gr3RHTAY2qrdf6PtDjkUN0L7k-zRObyAsYyzK7XK6XgfQ0T7Rvqsr41amYU4pxP4stAQKq0WBjvhiTutUE_eSUy_YrKVbO-w_qH6w/s1600/tuck+tape+window.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="106" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhna5yHtE-pqABGitkXQjLaQ6fCV2WsyNIc_gr3RHTAY2qrdf6PtDjkUN0L7k-zRObyAsYyzK7XK6XgfQ0T7Rvqsr41amYU4pxP4stAQKq0WBjvhiTutUE_eSUy_YrKVbO-w_qH6w/s200/tuck+tape+window.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">Brought up from the nasty cupcakes (the killer strawberries farm teams farm team) Throne Laronde covered the crease like a tuck tape window sticky side out. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">On the offensive front due to Shinny's relentless badgering of Magboy's lack of scoring, Mag immediately notched a beauty. Turnaround Turner, who was battling 3 Boozers in the corner at the time, sent a laser pass to the streaking Magboy who deflected it in off his bare shine. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">The fire was lit at both ends and not a moment too late as the bad drunks began agitating our 6ft+ enforcers. Slickery, known for his financial advice, was offering free checking accounts for insubordinate boozers. On a poorly executed pick, Turnaround Turner dropped a boozing Boozer refusing to be losing.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">In the end it was the strawberries coming ahead with 2 goals as a result of the offensive wheel style breakout plays and other tricks learned through the online Hockey PHD course. The bonus motivational WAV files also helped.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">It was too late to consume anything but savery victory smothered in winners sauce.</span></span></span><br />
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DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-73625921036602116412016-10-18T12:09:00.001-04:002016-10-18T12:14:37.215-04:00Strawberry Excrescence - Season Can Opener 2016-17<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">With the retirement of 2 seasoned Strawbs both born before vietnam, the team's </span></span></span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">median</span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;"> age </span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">plummeted</span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;"> by at least 30 years. It would be closer to 500 but our steadfast Dr. Thug, born during the spanish inquisition, has yet again proven that cadaver parts are useful and respond well to cold conditions such as hockey arenas.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; font-size: 18.6667px;">The retired Vice and Gumby were the last of the original Killer strawberries to have partaken in 32 years of glorious losses, improbable victories, smelly dressing rooms and jokes so bad they continue to merit repeating at every possible opportunity.</span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://thekillerstrawberries.blogspot.ca/2011/01/gift-of-hockey.html" target="_blank">1</a></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">They will be missed for there lack of movement both on and off the ice. As Marquis DeSave put it, "I miss how they slowed down the game. I mean they don't move very much."</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">The team's new unappraised talent debuted tonight and we welcome JoeFresh(Joey), </span></span></span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">Stashery</span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">(Jesse), Neal and Andre (</span></span><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">monikers TBD) and Warren Peace who has returned to play hockey after a brief career as a professional sports hypnotist on extended leave from the Nasty Cup Cakes. He has convinced himself several times that he can play hockey and they are finally letting him prove himself terrible at hypnosis. He did finally quite stick handling, a nasty habit to kick.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">The game started and ended much like the bluejays loss tonight against their Chief opponents. We fell behind mostly due to Marquis DeLethargy's reminiscing gaze sometimes peering off into the distant centreline where the strawbs did seem to be returning quite frequently. He seemed to be looking for shadows of his former defensive duo, who use to saunter and lumber about the offensive zone checking anything stupid enough to skate with-in an arm's reach. Marquis' longing for slow motion plays, those distant memories of after school road hockey on cool summer nights failed to draw his attention to the net thirsty chiefs who pounced the crease like wild animals on raw meat. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">There were brief moments of scoring ingenuity by our very own Slickery, Neil Hatrick Harris, Neal the playmaker and the new blood and Shiny-protoje</span></span></span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;"> Stashery. I</span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">f not for the curse of Lenny the score would have been 15-10.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">The team convened at the Whacky Tavern to consumed water, budweiser</span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">, New Ontario Beer (some on the floor, table and chairs) and to speak of their first loss as learning experience.</span></div>
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DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-34976570471055877422016-09-22T14:27:00.000-04:002016-09-22T14:27:10.575-04:00Vice Retirement Letter<blockquote style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: wf_segoe-ui_normal, "Segoe UI", "Segoe WP", Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif;" type="cite">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Gentlemen,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It is with some sadness that I am announcing my retirement from on-ice participation for the Killer Strawberries Hockey Club. After much soul searching, it seems that I have gone to seed. I think if I lose any more steps I will be out of stairs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">All in all, 25-30 years of playing with the Strawbs has been a pretty good run. While I may not miss my diminished on-ice contributions, I will miss the team in the dressing room and the post game beverages.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am very confident in the current team management and their ability to continue the Strawbs tradition in the Canadore College Hockey League.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Please let me know your schedule this season as I'd like to attend some games and handle one of the bench doors.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In so far as the rest of the Killer Strawberries Hockey and Gentlemen's Club activities go, I plan to continue to participate as I have in the past.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Go Strawbs!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Vice</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">ps I will still be playing hockey this season every Friday afternoon with some pretty great guys including some current and former Strawbs. As well I will be playing for the Leafs in the over 45 Original 6 League, where, as it turns out, I will still be one of the "more veteran" players.</span></div>
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Rob Greenfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13173761045872481676noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-34188802947061334052016-09-21T19:33:00.005-04:002016-09-21T19:34:40.247-04:00Press Release - Barbaros the Terrible Resigns<h2 style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Press release </b></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span class="aBn" data-term="goog_763112503" style="border-bottom: 1px dashed rgb(204, 204, 204); position: relative; top: -2px; z-index: 0;" tabindex="0"><span class="aQJ" style="position: relative; top: 2px; z-index: -1;">September 21, 2016</span></span></b></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>North bay,on</b></span></h2>
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<b style="font-size: medium;">Per: Marcus " the enforcer" Barber</b><b style="font-size: medium;">" </b></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>t is with great sadness that I have to announce my retirement form the CHL. I have been relocated to east coast of Ontario in the beautiful city of Ottawa. I would like thank to thank the Killer Strawberries organization for giving the opportunity to play and show case my small range of talents. And big time hit capabilities. I would like to thank magboy (Denis) for showing me some important off ice lessons. On the that comes in mind that ( his name isn't Dougie it's Billy) well to little to late. And one last shout out to my little buddy who received my backup when needed even if he wasn't in danger of harassment from out opponent scum. Kevin " mayor" may it's time for me to set you free and have you open your wings and fight your own damn battles. And to the other Strawberries keep your sticks up and let them know your there!"</b></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Barbaros </b></span></h2>
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DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-38328376677129135192016-02-12T11:16:00.002-05:002016-02-12T11:16:32.881-05:00Team Photo<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Killer Strawberries 2015-2016</span></div>
Rob Greenfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13173761045872481676noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-81718484804077221322016-01-30T16:24:00.002-05:002016-01-30T19:44:42.160-05:00Winter semester slump<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">Strawbs 5 Puck-n-Chuck 3</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">Half the team's age was missing with the absence of the most senior members of the team. With only 7 skaters, the Strawbs </span></span></span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;"> </span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">narrowly averted a defeat by the nun Chucks. Where was Gawd when he was most needed? Where was the Vice when needed to strong hold the zone? There must have been a 2 for 1 special on colonoscopies. The other no shows had good enough reasons.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">The Chucks left it all on the ice in this match, but in true Strawberry fashion we managed a victory on paper. No points for style. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">Dr. Thug, scoring 2, achieved his 6432nd goal since his birth if you count the goals from his pre-colonial mesoAmerican stick ball league. </span></span></span><span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">Neil</span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;"> Ha-trick Harris continued his goal streak and is the first rookie since Magboy to surpass the 10 goal a season mark. If this continues, he may be asked back next season.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">Our own tonsorial artist of pain, Barberos the Wicked, dished out a huge body blow directed at the other team's alpha player. He ejected himself from the game, returned to his cave and feasted on pheasant, tubers and wine. As a result the league dealt with this swiftly and issued a memo from its satellite head office in Wawa. For reasons of privacy, security and skewed interests, this memo has been redacted.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;"><br /></span></span></span>DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-84678068652218821302015-11-27T16:18:00.002-05:002015-11-28T00:40:03.933-05:002015-2016 Strawbs Record 7-1<div style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background: #F7F0E9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">The Strawbs
started the season very strong. On one short benched occasion a loss was given
up to an eager squad. I don't recall their name, and it's not important. The
record currently sits at 7 and 1 with the Strawbs securely sitting in second
place.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: #F7F0E9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">The new players, Mountain Man Neil and Marky Marcus, have stepped up in the scoring department
taking leads from Magboy and Slickery. Mountain Man, fueled by venison,
moose, bear, and college drive road kill of any condition, often bulls his way
up the ice and through his opponents. Marky Marcus, the team's
on ice etiquette enforcer, highest paid Northern Ontario Pee-wee league referee
and closest character stand in for Philly Cheese skates, has been a top scoring
contributor when not socializing with his zebra brethren. The Mayor
has also been a scoring role model declaring that he is only shooting for the
elusive crossbar / post ping combo on any shot. So far he has
missed 5 empty net goals. The Thug continues on
Thugging. His new extendable stick boom has allowed him to take down
escaping opponents from up to 10 feet away. When Sarge is not
protecting the defensive zone (D. Duty), he is up front with his white camo
jersey carpet bombing the opponents net with tips and redirects. (Lots of
warning shots) Maybe the firing range is necessary along with a
sight alignment. Keep firing! </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: #F7F0E9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">The team elders
continue to redefine their defensive style by any means necessary. Somehow it's
working. Gawd has recently been voted the most patient breakaway
goal scorer in Strawbs history. The Vice's offense positioning is so
honed that he doesn't have to skate anymore. Soon he will be fork lifted into
his preferred position and remain their for the duration of the game. Tests have
yielded decent goals for and against averages. The Vice's assists have
been slightly affected.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: #F7F0E9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Shinny Sean has
made new adjustments as well. We are not sure what they are, but as long as
he is skating the Vice doesn't need to move.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: #F7F0E9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">So the final Fall
season match is to take place Dec. 3rd against the league's number one placed
team, the Mongeese. The Mongeese-es are another Canadore league franchise
that have been making a name for themselve over the years. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Of course they
don't have a blog, facebook page, training compound in Hawaii, farm team, nano
brewery, clothing line, alumni organization, board of executives and any
pictures of them wearing their jersey with a backdrop of the Great Pyramids of
Giza. </span><span style="background-color: #f7f0e9; color: #11593c; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
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DBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07366818542655858940noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-20776056582504758442015-09-19T09:01:00.001-04:002015-09-19T09:01:58.653-04:00Killer Strawberries Golf September 17, 2015<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Rob Greenfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13173761045872481676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-35494333951579117342015-03-24T08:43:00.003-04:002015-03-24T08:43:47.730-04:00Killer Strawberries and Gentlemen's Club<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuvHvUb7boKg25MxbezGoGv6VRG5Iv1I90vyd3un9q1hVyYIfmVyE_mYh9pdz2Lq74I08eELVfIbgQ2g1M9tdejLsyj7xMwRaalEI7hfjPhpfwzLe5dcHvoxaJdCifsLaeB3MT/s1600/Strawbs+B+Champs+edited.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuvHvUb7boKg25MxbezGoGv6VRG5Iv1I90vyd3un9q1hVyYIfmVyE_mYh9pdz2Lq74I08eELVfIbgQ2g1M9tdejLsyj7xMwRaalEI7hfjPhpfwzLe5dcHvoxaJdCifsLaeB3MT/s1600/Strawbs+B+Champs+edited.jpg" height="205" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">The Killer Strawberries capped off their 2014-2015 season with a victory claiming the B Championship.</span>Rob Greenfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13173761045872481676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17153062.post-20073531655457313752014-12-07T19:01:00.003-05:002014-12-07T19:01:59.949-05:00Pajama Man's 40th Birthday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVkaxgCnxT06h4SsGM3GP6IBycekPyv8U_wEtUIK88SfEtDibadjIyEW8N1tKXyAp0-M0MEiOjiHxwT53u2I7GYDXmBvqUT632UjVOlsUsyT-OM_14m4GYc83k5zuUUZBBH1sl/s1600/10846291_10152514132640849_3428284638596299336_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVkaxgCnxT06h4SsGM3GP6IBycekPyv8U_wEtUIK88SfEtDibadjIyEW8N1tKXyAp0-M0MEiOjiHxwT53u2I7GYDXmBvqUT632UjVOlsUsyT-OM_14m4GYc83k5zuUUZBBH1sl/s1600/10846291_10152514132640849_3428284638596299336_n.jpg" height="292" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Some Killer Strawberries joined up to help Pajama Man celebrate his 40th birthday.</span>Rob Greenfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13173761045872481676noreply@blogger.com1