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Friday, November 27, 2015

2015-2016 Strawbs Record 7-1

The Strawbs started the season very strong. On one short benched occasion a loss was given up to an eager squad. I don't recall their name, and it's not important.  The record currently sits at 7 and 1 with the Strawbs securely sitting in second place.

The new players, Mountain Man Neil and Marky Marcus, have stepped up in the scoring department taking leads from Magboy and Slickery.  Mountain Man, fueled by venison, moose, bear, and college drive road kill of any condition, often bulls his way up the ice and through his opponents.   Marky Marcus, the team's on ice etiquette enforcer, highest paid Northern Ontario Pee-wee league referee and closest character stand in for Philly Cheese skates, has been a top scoring contributor when not socializing with his zebra brethren.  The Mayor has also been a scoring role model declaring that he is only shooting for the elusive crossbar / post ping combo on any shot.   So far he has missed 5 empty net goals.   The Thug continues on Thugging.  His new extendable stick boom has allowed him to take down escaping opponents from up to 10 feet away.   When Sarge is not protecting the defensive zone (D. Duty), he is up front with his white camo jersey carpet bombing the opponents net with tips and redirects.  (Lots of warning shots)  Maybe the firing range is necessary along with a sight alignment.   Keep firing!  

The team elders continue to redefine their defensive style by any means necessary. Somehow it's working.  Gawd has recently been voted the most patient breakaway goal scorer in Strawbs history.  The Vice's offense positioning is so honed that he doesn't have to skate anymore. Soon he will be fork lifted into his preferred position and remain their for the duration of the game. Tests have yielded decent goals for and against averages.  The Vice's assists have been slightly affected.
Shinny Sean has made new adjustments as well. We are not sure what they are, but as long as he is skating the Vice doesn't need to move.

So the final Fall season match is to take place Dec. 3rd against the league's number one placed team, the Mongeese.  The Mongeese-es are another Canadore league franchise that have been making a name for themselve over the years. 
Of course they don't have a blog, facebook page, training compound in Hawaii, farm team, nano brewery, clothing line, alumni organization, board of executives and any pictures of them wearing their jersey with a backdrop of the Great Pyramids of Giza.   

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Killer Strawberries and Gentlemen's Club

The Killer Strawberries capped off their 2014-2015 season with a victory claiming the B Championship.