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Friday, December 20, 2013

'Ralphs Falls, Tamsania

Strawb banished by Devuono found in the land of the convicts'


PS Have a great Christmas season

Thursday, December 19, 2013

T'was the Night Before the Killer Strawberries' Christmas

T’was the break before Christmas,
And all through the league
Teams looked at the standings
And saw the Strawbs, with intrigue

“How could they be first?”
The pubescent boys inquired,
“They’ve past the best before date,
And are almost expired!”

But in the midst of a rebuild,
The Strawbs came on strong,
With better ideas this year than
Beer cases with thongs.

Was it the dropping of Butcher,
from the ol’ chopping block?
Or was there something terribly wrong
With the arena’s score clock?

Could it be Ice Marshall Walpole,
An exec from last year,
Who protested the four-heads
And packed up his gear?

Perhaps with the divestment
Of a Freight Train we knew
That by 44%
Our chances of winning grew.

According to the Strawbs,
Who are toughing it out
They are encouraged by Dr. Thug,
And his infamous shout.

And if you ask one Gawdawful Gumby
He’ll say it’s because,
In an exaggerated tone:
“Same as it ever was.”

Mark Wagner

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Strawbs finish 8-2 the first half of 2013-2014

Strawbs celebrating the end of the first half of 2013-2014.

Monday, December 02, 2013

Slick Trick

Nov. 28 Game Report

Strawberries 6 - Mongeese Flew South (4)

The Slick is back! Not since we played that team without a goalie has Slick recorded a slicktrick.  Hats rained on to the ice. They were great hats too.  Hats like Bombardier, Molson 50, CP Rail, Gawd is Watching (with a picture of Gawd winking).  Someone tossed one of those "Who Farted" hats. You know the one that looks roughed up like it was worn to a Zoo and Wilders washroom fight? The Zebras picked all the hats up but that one. They just left it in the corner all game.  We scored a goal because of it.  The Mayor's goal went in off of the hat. He was awarded the goal despite trying to keep his distance from the on-ice warning message of some possible broken wind.

Magboy netted a TSN replay worthy goal off a high flick pass from the Mayor.  He knocked the puck down with his glove, returned both hands to his stick and notched it in while highfiving the Mayor and texting.

In the net stood our disposable net minder, Dokota DC3, whose flaps were up every time the Mongeeseses rafter daddy shots lifted off. Their attempts to outplay the shorthanded Strawbs were futile especially when Gawd and the Vice can play the entire game. The Vice's beauty goal is another testament to the D's outstanding play. As a matter of fact we saw a lot of out standing the entire game.

After the final whistle the team's defibrillator was used to treat Gawd and The Vice's supra-ventricular tachycardia. On the bench they call it "feeling tachy again".  In the room the Fiss brothers decided to make a jack ass video and jolt each other in their post game masochist ritual.  In the end we were all shocked, especially those showering at the time. [No footage was actually recorded]

Post game a few Veteran Strawbs convened at the Tavren for a post game sip and the awarding of a custom printed hat for The Vice.  "Who Sharted".