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Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Strawbs Extend Streak to 6-0, Nov. 14, 2013

Under the watchful eye of  Ice Marshall Walpole (Ret.), the Killer Strawberries extended its early season winning streak to six wins and 0 losses.  In typical Strawbs fashion, the team played to the level of its competition, and in this particular case, it was anything but a beauty.  Out chanced, out worked, out muscled, out lucked, but not out scored, the team eeked out a win by one goal.  Suffice to say the Strawbs were not overly happy with their play, but all were quick to note "a win is a win."  They were probably out quoted by the opposing team as well.

Most of the vets retired to the terminal tavren following the game to enjoy anything but re-hashing the game.  As has been the case all season, no rookies were invited to the post game soiree.  The usual lies, drinks and food were consumed.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Strawbs pinch out a BM victory

Game Report

Killer Strawberries 4 Barn Muckers 3 

Nov 11, 2013 (One to remember)

In one of the Strawbs toughest matches of the season, and with only 10 skates this time, the squad was able to notch a 5th straight victory.  Gawd was missing.  A courtesy call indicated that he was tied up in meetings on Church Street, Toronto. In his words, "I've got to go down for a group hug." Good luck with just hugging. Not only did you put us out but you will likely have to put out too.  Clean your equipment before you return to the ice.  Phillter Queen was missing as well.  Until he's plugged in we won't know if he sucks. That may sound like a shot, but its a pretty accurate statement.

Those that did show know how much trouble those Muckers can be.  Marquis de Saviour, filled with honeymoon testosterone, saved many breakaways and countless wristers and whack-at-ers.  Shiny and the Vice watched the BM's pass the puck around like onlookers at a ping pong tournament. They kept their opponents wide by not moving much.  Johnny 2 Good and Devilish had their hands full clearing the puck to whom ever would take it. Sometime they got it back right away.
Despite the lack of clearing attempts and puck control, the forward lines did what they do best, look to their executive to save the day. Magboss opened the scoring due to a beauty pass from Slickery. 
The second marker was again a product of Slickery's charity. This year the executive promises a tax write off each time Slick donates a pass to another teammate. In 2012 Slick had nothing to claim.
The Hanson bros, despite their tin foiled hands, tag teamed a few nifty goals with the Mayor's support.

The executives, past and present, retired to the terminal tavren where the board discussed its IPO positioning. With 5 wins and at least 1 fan per game, it's time to start selling shares.

2 lbs of fragmented gallus domesticus and a small amount of ale were consumed.

Strawberries Quack Mighty Ducks Defense, Win a Thriller

Game Report

Killer Strawberries 5 Mighty Ducks 4 

Nov 7, 2013

They looked and played like pylons for a period and a half, but the Killer Strawberries needed no more than a minute to blow the doors off what was otherwise a dud of a match.

Dr. Thug was in attendance despite his ongoing concussion lawsuit vs. the College, a suit that could see him get paid $1.2 million dollars for every concussion he’s endured since his inception into the league in 1924, totaling $1,036,800,000.
Magboy and Shiny Shawn Brightly had troubles adjusting their balance attempting to get used to the ever-growing ego associated with starting their Executive careers 4-0.

Back from his honeymoon soiree, Marquis de Saviour went from scoring to saving with a flip of a switch, robbing the Mighty Ducks of any hope throughout the game.

As for the others: The Fiss’ fizzled, Johnny was 2 Good, the Mayor Mayored and Slickery slicked. Gawd was Gawd, and the Vice was present.

Reported by Marquis de Saviour

Friday, November 01, 2013

Game Report

Killer Strawberries 3 Fussy Book Club 1  

Oct 31, 2013

We played some hockey. We read some books and reviewed them with the other team during game play. There were many disagreements on the meaning and plot line of various readings.
We look forward to our next book club meeting. 

The end.

Marquis de Slave

Game Report

Killer Strawberries 5 Scrapper 4  

Oct 28, 2013

The team took to the ice with almost a full roster again. "The Fill" was absent while Shiny made his debut with the newly reformed Killer strawberries team.  The most noticeable back-filled absence was none other than the permanently whipped Marquis de Slave who hadn't the balls to arrange for a honeymoon much closer to the arena.  The Ontario North lands repair depot would have been a great spot to honeymoon. It features high ceilings and a wonderful cafeteria.  Or how about Arclin Canada Limited. I hear they have wonderfully decorated 4000 gal holding tanks with competitive prices and free parking. 

While both of those getaway spots are a honeymooners dream, the Marquis needlessly shacked up in some remote expensive sweet spending his time watching NHL hockey and TSN replays while the beautiful Mrs M.D.S surfed the net for thank you cards.

We hope you enjoyed your time off and Congratulations!  

Please Note: The executive has decided that this is your final marriage and or honeymoon. See you Thursday.

A few die-hards convened at the tavern where nothing much was consumed.