Undefeated in 2018
(Record 4-2-0)
Strawbs vs Pillow Throwers
Did we win the game? 10-4
The shots were just about 50 to 10 for the frustrated pile of yellow stained Pillows who were playing with a non existent bench.
With no spares, their only break was time off served by earning the numerous penalties due to aggression toward the Strawbs executive Magboy, a stay at home forward who can instantly accelerate past the whole team in half the strides a cheetah takes to reach maximum speed. Typically the Mag deserves a little 2 by 4 to the mask, shines and lower thoracic, but their last act of malice was an open ice Body Pillow to the streaking Magboy. What the Pillow snuffers lack is respect. Unfortunately, it is not mandatory prior to Rec league signup, to read the 800 pages of vade mecums as transcribed in HTML, CSS and some bullshit and better known as KillerStrawberries.com. Save for the Ice Marshal's Heidegger like posts, the rest of the blog evokes religiosity in our foes and is known to instill a certain respect toward the legend of the Killer Strawberries and their current active, potent but modest members. Such reading aught to be enough to avert such on ice warmongering.
Slickery, still adjusting to his new storm trooper bucket, was seen dropping bar down bombs on poor Lenny. This is no doubt a practice run for our next game against Lenny's for real team, the Flying Hawaiians in which we must break the curse of Lenny for real this time.
Turnanator II, new and improved from his rookie year and sporting a new poly metal alloy rib, has said hasta la vista to his defensive role in a trade for a big cheese goal scorer. The Executive moved him up to a forward because he was always putting the other forwards offside and/or spending too much time dangling behind the opposing team's net. According to his fit-bit's post game exercise summary, each goal burned 100 calories, and he traveled 7.4 kilometers during the game. On one particular goal his fitbit recorded this redonkulous GPS route through the opposing team and en route to his eventual record breaking slowest 4th-trick on record. TII's farcical displays are now property of Apple Inc. and saved in the cloud somewhere.... Pillow Cloud?
It would seem like decent odds that we would pull off a win with 7 against 5 if the shots were about even. They indeed were not. The Pillow Throwers tossed everything they had at the amazing Kevin Quick Picks, also amazing at pro-line. If not for him the game may very well have ended much closer, say 12-3. At times he was marionette like resembling Marty Brodeur in the Enterprise commercial with his head still and appendages downing shots and snuffing out any of the chance of the Pillows returning to the face off circle on their terms. By the end of the 40 it was just Pillow Talk, and the Strawbs were undefeated in 2018.
The rest of the tired old heap held their own. Nothing was consumed. The team dispersed as it was too late for any rendezvous anywhere other than with our favorite rectangular cloth bag stuffed with feathers.
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