Strawbs Bounce Bad Czechs

Game Report

Strawbs 9 BodyCzechs 3

October 19, 2009


Boulstered by the absence of penalty pig Butcher Brophey, who is in Portugal studying the mating habits of his ovine cousins, the Killer Strawberries sent a 9-3 NSF (not sufficient firepower) warning to a fine but still inexperienced BodyCzechs squad.

The Strawbs scored early and often and were solidly backed up by Rich “The Plug” Delorme who has replaced the once irreplaceable Jesse The Leak, at one time referred to as the Martin Brodeur of the Canadore Intramural League (by his mother and girlfriend). Mr. Leak is spending his hockey retirement putting tax evaders behind bars and knitting tuques for wayward cats. On more than one occasion the Plug was left to fend for himself as the Strawbs’ defence carried out its plan to test him early and often by allowing frequent breakaway situations to develop. The Plug performed admirably and, being the good rookie he is, did not curse his porous defence except in French an under his breath.

Another Strawb also made his debut on the evening. Chris Crossey, hereinafter and forever to be referred to as Bing! Crossbar, put in an inspired performance: inspired by Gumby’s threat to ask for his return to the Butthole Bottom Feeders if he failed to meet the incredibly low standards of the team. Although he did not score (or maybe he did, who knows), he managed to ring a couple off the iron with his quick snapper, thus securing his place on the squad until further notice.

Gumby, fresh from his Battle of The Blades appearance at the old Maple Leaf Gardens, was a little frustrated because there were no referees to harangue. He did, however, draw attention to himself on one occasion when one of the picks on his new blades got stuck on the blueline, resulting in one of the finest pirouettes ever executed by a Killer Strawberry. The Executive advised him post game to use his old skates which surely must have most of the mistakes squeezed out of them by now.

At the end of the game, The Vice was presented with a bottle of 55 year old Scotch, which Scotch was born in the same year as he was. It was obvious that the Scotch had aged much better than the Vice had...it was a lot smoother and far less cranky.

The team, or most of it, then repaired to the Terminal Tavren to continue the evaluation of the squad’s talent, old and new. It was concluded that, with the new additions and the absence of the Butcher, there was a good chance of repeating as league champs. It was good to start the year on a high note.

2 Keiths Stout, 3 Guinness, 3 Stella, 4 regular Keiths, 2 dozen chicken wings and some tall tales of figure skating exploits at the Carlton Cash Box were consumed.