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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

A Beau Tie

Killer Strawberries 2 Dirty Mike 2

Game Report

February 8, 2012

Record: 12-3-3

It was a start that would make Paunch Imlach roll over in his grave, had he not been cremated. Within the first 2 minutes of the first period, Dirty Mike and The Boys were already up 2-0. The Killer Somnabulents were in shock. Not since the early days of Jesse The Leak had they had such an inauspicious start. The D was discombobulated, the forwards disoriented and the Marquis DeSave caught up in some reverie involving the girl he met the night before at Fanny’s and a strange itching in his nether regions.

Fortunately, the Strawbs are made of stern stuff. After the wakeup call, they revved up the engine and began playing like they could. The first period ended 2-0. In the second, Shiny, taking a lovely drop pass from the streaking Ice Marshal, fired one from 40 feet and caught the corner of the net for the team’s first marker. A short time later, MagBoy, doing his best Freight Train imitation, used his whole body to ram the puck past a surprised Dirty Mike’s goalie.

To keep the opposition off balance, Lil Wagner thugged it like the Butcher would have had he shown up. Official excuse: early Valentine’s Day shopping or, as it really was, sniffing women’s lingerie at Sears. Lil Wagner chopped his way to 3 penalties in a single skirmish and was quickly relegated to the showers.

The team picked up the slack, played well then-on-in and gained a point in the standings.

Given the lateness of the hour, the squad forewent their usual pilgrimage to the Terminal Tavren in favour of a post game wrap in some stranger’s driveway across from Peter Palangio Arenas. The driveway’s owner, a lovely single woman of 26, who identified herself as Narcissa Nonsuch, joined the team in the impromptu celebration and contributed 12 Heineken and more than one highly appreciated tale of unsurpassed salaciousness. She was made honorary team captain. We are hoping to see more of her in the future.

24 Steamwhistle, 2 litres of MagBoysian homebrew and 12 Heineken were consumed.

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