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Monday, April 16, 2012

Dubious Awards - Freight Train

What can you say about Freight Train Laronde? He’s the biggest guy on the team, like a few of us, he possess one of the crappiest shots on the team, he’s the only guy on the Strawbs who prays before each game that the game doesn’t end up in a 4-4 tie, he’s taken more vacation time than any other Strawb for which he’s missed more games due to that than any other Strawb, even more than the Butcher, aside from all that, he’s the consummate Killer Strawberry. He’ll play any position asked of him by the executive. When he’s called on to play defense the Marquis breathes a sigh of relief that it’s not another piece of Trout Lake driftwood in front of him, his play at forward keeps the opposition players in check, and he’s invariably one of the first forwards back checking, next to Mag Boy, Lill Wagner and the Mayor, where he’s a relentless back checker. Through all that, he never complains or grouses, hardly ever gets upset, takes few penalties, in fact earns few of the ones he gets, he never disses or says negative things about his team mates’ on ice performances even when they’re Gawdawful. After games he is always up for going for a post-game pop, wherever the executive decides to go. He’s a great team mate.

He’s the epitome of a Lady Bing winner –the NHL award for “the player adjudged to have exhibited the best type of sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct combined with a high standard of playing ability.”

So, we are proud to present to Freight Train Laronde, the Killer Strawberries’ version of the Lady Bing award – for exhibiting the best type of sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct combined with a relatively good standard of playing ability and for always being willing to go for a post-game beer, the Lady Olsen Twins Award.

1 comment:

DB said...

Good stuff Freight Train.