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Friday, May 17, 2019

A Killer Strawberries Ditty

10 to 15 years ago, the Killer Strawberries had a good run and were almost undefeated. They played for the league championship 4 or 5 years in a row, winning twice. The following is a conglomerate mishmash of that time, which could ring true for any of the games played during that time.

Here’s a small tale of a Strawb’s game of shame
Which sums up the way they played every game
From battles of glory to being robbed as well
There’s no shortage of stories and lies to tell

Butcher Brophey brought a tear to my eye
As he speared his way to an early goodbye
Gawdawful Gumby kept singing the blues
Because, of course, Devono hadn’t a clue
Pajama Man went home to bed
He was tired of hooking, or so he said
The Vice, as it turns out, wasn’t in on the con
And before you knew it he was gone Dad gone
The Marquis de Save couldn’t save the game
It was too far gone, ain’t it a shame
Warren Peace showed up late
Gave it his all, till he got the gate
Mayor Maynot couldn’t decide
Go forward or back or keep shooting wide
Shiny Sean Brightly was all lit up
Incensed at the cross check from one young pup
Freight Train Laronde stayed right on track
Even and cool as was his knack
Slickery hickory-dickoried the ice
Felling everyone he thought didn’t act nice
Dr. Thug hooked, clutched and grabbed
Mauling the enemy till he too was nabbed
Mag Boy raced and foamed like a shook up can
He’s come a long way since Magnesium Man
The Ice Marshall’s wig was on straight and tight
Cautioning the transgressors as was his right

Now as some of the Strawbs have gone to seed
There’s a new batch causing their foes to bleed
Ripping through games like a team on a mission
They’re carrying on the Strawb’s fine tradition

Names of some other Killer Strawberries who have “gone to seed”

Harry Burton, Brian Anderson, Derek Viking Ericson, Amanda Bradford, Lori Springall, Karen, Lise Paxton, Serene Dean, Moses McLean, Snowtop O’Farrell, Devon Dirvish, Bing Crossbar, Tom Wagner, Dash Headlong, Fis-sure Man, Johnny -2-Good, Philly Cheesekates, Fis-T, Sarge, Archilies Perron, Jesse the Leak, Roy Cox, Smokey, John John John, Warney Richardson

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