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Monday, September 26, 2005

2003-2004 Team Roster

  1. Glenn No-knees No Go Brophey, 49, connoisseur of self love and other esoterica,
  2. Mike Floppy Drive Pettigrew, 48, last known to have sweated on a hockey rink in 1962
  3. Moses McLean, age unknown, great uncle to Aurel Joliette
  4. Rob The Torch Greenfield, 48, still defying his mother's rule not to play with matches
  5. Basher Bob Walpole, 48 but looks 25, largest groupie following of any Strwberry ever
  6. Derelict Erickson, 41 but looks 42, still staggering on and off the ice
  7. Dr. Bug Bill Procunier, 52, next year his age will match his IQ (rounded up to closest integer)
  8. Pyjama Frank Gibbons, 28 but plays like Aurel Joliette, no longer producing offspring without Strawberries' management consent
  9. Serene Dean Haley, 8, happy to be playing down to Strawberries' level
  10. Jon John Jean Confused Richard, 26, once spun himself through the ice to China where he still hit the post
  11. Jonathan T.Witt, 18 but looks 18, long hair got caught in girlfriend's zipper, AWOL since October 2003
  12. Denis the Pennis Buchwald, 25, recently let in 3 goals on 2 shots, asked by management to stay at least 20 feet away from his own crease
  13. Phil Upthenet Popp, 24, has played too many games without a helmet, best Strawberries' goalie ever according to his mom