Rust, What Rust?

October 16, 2006-Game Report

Strawbs 9, Aviators 2


In an impressive display of teamwork, legerdemain and artistry, the Strawbs opened the 2006-2007 season with a subtle reminder to all the teams in the league that they continue to be an unignorable global hockey force. The Strawbs lineup from last night must have struck fear in the hearts of the less than nattily attired squad from the Aviation campus. Opponents’ heads were swivelling like Linda Blair in a movie gone bad, as the B line of Pyjama Man, Mag Boy and the septuagenerian Dr. Thug gave the Aviators fits, scoring 6 times, seemingly at will. The A line, centered by the Vice Ice, Rob “The Torch” Greenfield, galloping like a frisky colt between his fleet wingers, Achilles Perron and the indescribable Ice Marshall, played a solid 2 way game, scoring two highlight reel goals and went a combined +121 on the night. The Ice Marshall thought the line was closer to +99, but he is not one to argue with anyone, especially the offficial scorer. When it was pointed out that there was no official scorer, the intrepid team leader simply shrugged, as Atlas did in Ayn Rand’s famous book.

The Strawb’s defence tested out rookie Whoa!horny Richardson by putting him into some very tight situations and the newcomer did not disappoint, scoring on a beautiful Greenfieldesque butterfly lifter from the blue line. 444 Laronde teamed with Gumby and HE (444) could not be faulted for any of the goals against, as he often found himself defending alone, with Gumby fraternizing with the hapless goaler at the other end. Apparently, the latter two share a love of C++ coding and arcane Mott The Hoople minutia.

Butcher Brophey, in what amounted to a rare stroke of genius, had taped the blade of his stick red for the game and thus eluded at least 4 penalties for unauthorized spleenectomy. Jesse “The Leak” was workmanlike and effective between the pipes, but he did complain at game’s end that he had a hard time seeing the puck throught the haze of rust particles emanating from the Butcher’s blades.

Following the game, at the new terminal tavren (yes, tavren), Gumby was effusive in his praise of the team’s efforts and suggested that Jawn Jon Jean, recently relocated to Owen Sound, should be renamed Gawn Gone Gon. A committee was struck to study the proposal at a later date, when someone actually cares to act on a Gumby-initiated opinion.

8 jugs and 7 sad chicken wings were consumed

Ice Marshall Walpole