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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

A Double Loss

A Double Loss

Killer Strawberries 2 Barn Muckers 3

Game Report

January 16, 2012

Record: 7-3-2

With Pyjama Man unavailable due to injuries suffered in a home-manscaping gone bad, and with Gumby out for counseling, and with the Vice out of Scotch, the Killer Strawberries managed to put in a spirited performance against a strong squad of Barn Muckers.

The game was close throughout as the Marquis finally put in an effort worthy of Strawberrydom. The forwards and defence were stellar, including Dash Headlong, just freshly returned from a month of unrestrained Saturnalia in his hometown: Langorous Rapids, Manitoba.

Unfortunately, with 12 seconds left in the game and the score tied at 2-2, the Ice Marshal had some kind of cosmic brain fart and coughed up the puck at his own blueline. The opportunistic Muckers seized the chance to pot the winning goal. “ I played like a burrito crossed with a toothless comb” moaned the team leader. “I am demoting myself to the Bottomfeeders until I feel better”. The Executive concurred with him, and he will spend the next week spreading his not-unsubstantial charm in the boondocks.

Following the debacle, the squad braved a snowstorm to get to the Terminal Tavren to lick the wounds of a victory lost and to lament the loss of their spiritual leader and moneylender.

4 Muskoka Cream Ale, 6 Guinness, 7 Bud Light, a glass of water and the temporary loss of the captain they admire were consumed.

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