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Friday, January 20, 2012

Trout Lake Driftwood lost on the snowy beaches

Killer Strawberries 6 Drunken Moose’s 0

Game Report

January 19, 2012

Record: 8-3-2

Players were missing from both ends of the age spectrum and the TroutLake Driftwood foursome were missing likely disoriented and wandering the lake during a freak snow squall.  Did someone say there was a case of scotch buried beneath the ice?  Alternatively they were supposed to meet in the middle of trout lake and discuss tonight’s game but like navigating the ice rink there was too much whiteness. They likely ended up on the boards, I mean shoreline.  If they exceed my expectations and survive to read this blog then note: Your attendance at the next game is optional.  Gumby please drop off the water bottles by 745. That is all.

During the warm up the opposing team skated about with over confidence as they stared across the red line at a squad of 6 who weren’t even bothering to warm up.  It was actually a treat to skip the pre-game line up lecture typically delivered in a communistic like fashion.

What the opposing Moose didn’t realize is that they ought to have sobered up before their grunts of assumed victory.  By the time the first period was over the strawbs line +1 was filling the net like a commercial fishing vessel on a Tuna run.  The Drunken Moose-es-says scrambled to crack the tireless defensive duo of Freight Train and Shinny by calling out the play that the leading forward should make upon crossing our blue line.  That may have worked if we were deaf.

The Mayor dipped and dunked, stole the puck from the Drunk’d.  Lill Wagner, Pyjama Man and MagBoy hardly let the puck cross our blue line except when we were setting up for the flying V.  Even the Zebra’s tried to crack the short benched Strawbs by calling questionable penalties including a 5 minute on Shinny who was later sent to the dressing room early, leaving the Strawbs with 4 on the ice and 1 in the box.   If it wasn’t for Marquis DeSave filling in for the missing defenseman and scoring a shorthanded hat-trick we wouldn’t have walked away with a 6-0 victory.

Half the team showed up to Terminal Tavren. By that I mean 3 players thus the highest post game attendance ratio to date.

4 Steam whistle, a glass of water, some simulated meat "on a bone" morsels and the effectiveness of a short bench win were consumed.


Rob Greenfield said...

A good read. I'll be a non-player for a spell yet, hopefully back by playoffs. The elbow injury is still *#^*ed.
The Vice

Anonymous said...


Great report. What wit. What elan. What je ne sais quoi! You have a new job.

Congrats to the SUPER 6. You are true Strawbs, gritty, grizzled and grand.