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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

4-1 WIN!

Strawberries DeFlambayed (sp)
Game Report
October 24, 2005

After coming off a disappointing loss caused exclusively by ex Strawberry and connoisseur of women's fine linens, Gumby Pettigrew, the elder statesmen of the Canadore Rec. League pulled off an upset of brobdignagian proportions against a determined squad from outer Sturgeon Falls. The final score of 4-1 does not do justice to the 8 intrepid Strawberries who bothered to show up for the match at beautiful Pete Palangio Arena, home of the 120% Sugar Slurpy. The game proved to be a battle of youth versus wily veterans and their younger apprentices. Using a modified version of the trap play made famous in the 1952 international championship match between the Penticton Comets and those Stalinist pigs of the Leningradospostopol Potato Vodkas, the Strawbs carried the play most of the night, allowing very few chances for their opponents to score.
Magnesium Man Buchwald, recently cleared of all accusations brought against him by the brass at the Brass Rail, a Toronto eating and ballet establishment of no small repute, led the team in scoring, notching at least one goal which defied the laws of gravity, inertia and quantum physics. Butcher Brophey continued his bone head play by taking an unnecessary penalty with no one left on the bench and 5 minutes left to play. He claimed later, at a liquid debriefing, that all he was doing was protecting our goalie, Jesse The Leak. How attempting to carve out the spleen of a Sturgeon skater of the female persuasion trying to move the puck out of her own end constitutes "protecting our goalie" will be lost on any right thinking Strawberry or other lesser mortal for years to come.

It must be noted that the Strawberries Executive, while pleased the club was able to wrestle a victory from the jaws of defeat, was not a little incensed by the anemic turnout for the game. Dr. Thug Procunier, who unlike a couple of other of his absent counterparts, had the courtesy to advise the Executive of his probable no show, nevertheless attempted the bald face assertion that he would likely be unable to play against Sturgeon due to the lingering effects of a so called concussion suffered in the last Strawbs' match, about which no one is ever to speak again. If the bleeding concussion were so bad, how did he muster from his near death bed the energy and clearmindedness to announce his probable absence? The mind reels. The Strawbs continue their march to the Cup.


Jawnny said...

what a story ya think we were in a weekend tourney, enjoyed it though, keep it up Bobby boy

Denis Buchwald said...

Yep, cleared of all charges until next game.

Jawnny said...

why do women rub their eyes whwn they wake up? Cause they got no balls to scratch, apparently one had the balls to put one by are tender regardless lot of estrogen on that team

broph said...

a walpolian exaggeration is about to hit the sacred space of the strawbs blog, and i thought it was important to set the record straight. My minus two took a full forty seconds and a minute. Once again Bobby, you've gone off early.

your finesse defenseman