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Friday, October 21, 2005

Strawberries Flambayed (sp)

Game day: October 20, 2005

On an evening when Glenn "No Knees No Go" Brophey excelled himself by scoring twice in the same period on a net other than his own, using a shot often described as anemic, the Strawberries managed to eke out a 7-5 loss against an Aviation Team loaded with over 100 players intent on beating the crap out of a legendary hockey institution.

The Strawbs put themselves into a jam by blowing a 5-3 lead with less than 3 minutes to play (and on a 7 minute power play to boot). This debacle rivals nothing in the annals of glorious Strawberries' history and shall remain a blot on the club's record for weeks to come. Ice Marshall Walpole placed the blame directly upon the shoulders of everyone but himself, having been self-confined to the bench during the last 3 minutes of play (upper body injury apparently).

"The defence just ran out gas and the darn forwards refused to cross inside their own blueline," lamented an unnamed member of the Strawbs' executive. "I place the blame squarely on the shoulders on those ridiculously lazy slugs". No forwards came forward to accept or to refute the accusation as they swigged post game scotch in a futile attempt to forget the past and forge a brighter future, a future which actually did materialize for those prescient enough to proceed thereafter to the "terminal tavern" of choice: the Bull & Quench, the team's home away from home.

Through a Guinness and whiskey induced fog, the Bull and Quench attending coterie of Strawbs decided to forgive all those present and to place the true blame squarely upon the slopping shoulders of Mike "Gumby" Pettigrew who, having previous refused to join the Strawbs for the 2005-2006 season, had the unmitigated gall to show up at the Bull and Quench and ask if he could take a seat at the Strawbs table. Because the executive was feeling magnanimous (the Guinness having kicked in), the erstwhile Benedict Arnold (recently stricken from the Strawbs highly esteemed K.S. Hall of Fame) was given permission to take a seat just outside the men's washroom but still within sight and hearing of the assembled Strawbs cabal. After all, it was his fault the Strawberries lost!


Denis Buchwald said...

I really have to stop eating supper 10 minutes before the game.

Anonymous said...

I blame the guy who put a player wearing a jagr jersey on defence to start the game off lol jk