Disaster Averted: "Gumby" Pettigrew Keeps His Moniker...Almost

After furious and often acrimonious negotiations with the trademark holders of the "Gumby" rights worldwide at the Aloha Baby Compound in Oahu, Ice Marshall Walpole has secured a 57 year licence for the use of the name "Gumby" as it" may or may not apply to the public and private persona of any human or quasi human being bearing a passport in the name of Michael Q. Pettigrew the Third and who toils or simulates toil or has, in the past, simulated toil with the world renowned Killer Strawberries Hockey and Gentlemen's Club."

The name can be used for whatever purposes the club sees fit but with one caveat, namely that the appellation "Gumby" must be used in association with the word" Gawdawful".

The team Executive is elated with the result. "I couldn't see myself calling him "Puddinhead" for the rest of my life" said a subdued but obviously relieved Rob "The Torch" Greenfield. He'll always be "Gumby" to me, even if he is gawdawful. Rumour out of Oahu has it that the fatter Olsen twin was also instrumental in brokering the historical deal under the guidance of the Ice Marshall.

"Gawdawful Gumby" Pettigrew could not be reached for comment at the Betty Ford in Minnesota.