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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Long winded and short handed

Game Report (1-0 record)

Killer Strawberries 4 The Puckers 2 Crusty

Jan 9, 2013

It wasn't hard to see from the bench that the absence of players left enough room to invite the entire Oahu Humuhumunukunukuapua'a Strawbettes cheer leading squad to the Home box.  Of course the 3 spare players probably wouldn't take their shifts so the executives advised against that. Sorry laddies, executive party appearances only!  

The self induced injury list continues to pile up and reek havoc with line match ups.  Its best to pull names from a hat and get to the face off circle accepting your draw.  After the puck is dropped players seem to gravitate toward their dream positions anyway. Most games we start off with 5 forwards and then by the second period end up with 5 slow deference. Fortunately the "Marquis de save a la diskette" prefers the crease area despite pulling centerman out of the hat.

Slickery is out.  With a hockey stick, he amputated his own apendics and ate it. Apparently observing the Butcher's patented hockeystickectomy paid off.   Slickery's naturopath had advised him that the only way to cure appendicitis was to eat your own appendics. So far it has been a low carb success. The gaping hole isn't healing so well. 
Get better Hannibal!

Philly Cheese is out.  I heard it was a freak turkey carving accident.

Get better PC.

Shinny is out.  After his recent trip around the world and coming in contact with 1000's of sporting event urinals he finally caught the swine flu (hotdog flu) and about 10 other mutated viruses. It should be cleared up by the end of the Olympic men's hockey gold silver final. Before your return from Sochi Dr Thug needs an OK from the CDC. 
Get better and Go Canada Go!

The rest of the squad does not need mention in this write up. We were there and toughed out a short bench yet again. By the end of the game the Puckers couldn't contain their geriatric contempt but that's the way we like them to end. The same as it ever was.  

It was too late to consume anything but 91 octane for the ride home.

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