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Monday, November 09, 2009

Dr. Thug Infects Teammates-Leads Strawbs To Victory

Killer Strawberries 8 Aviation Panthers 2
Game Report
November 5, 2009

After having fought off H1N1, bronchitis, syphilis and halitosis over the past 6 weeks, Dr. Thug returned triumphantly to lead his beloved Strawbs to an 8-2 victory over a penalty prone squadron of Aviation Panthers. Although he looked, at times, a little wobbly and short of breath, he managed to complete most of his 5 minute shifts and may even have scored a goal or two. His return inspired his teammates to turn it up a notch and was personally responsible for getting Warrin’ Peace to continue the only torrid scoring pace of his less than illustrious career.
Pyjama Man was also back in the lineup and, despite being stopped by the cops on the way to the match, got suited up in time to make an appearance by the mid mark of the first period. Although clearly not at his best, he still led the team in scoring. As a bonus, he surreptitiously passed on the H1N1 bug to Mr. Obnoxious, the Aviation defenceman so thoroughly despised by the Strawbs that they have his picture on the bull’s eye of the dartboard in the Garage of Bad Ideas.
The Plug, or as he is known to his adoring Francophone fans, Le Plug, played exceedingly well in his fourth game of the day. Just before the Strawbs’ game, he had just completed his third match in a one day tournament hosted by Canadore College. T o take a little pressure off his shoulders, the Executive moved Freight Train Laronde back to D to help cover up the team’s evident weakness on the blue line. The move obviously worked, as the D limited the opposition to a mere 4 breakaways on the night.
Absences continue to plague the squad. Whoahorny Richardson has yet to suit up, citing “personal mental issues” as his lame excuse. Bing! Crossbar was also nowhere to be seen. It is doubtful that it was homework that got in his way.
Following the game, the ream reassembled at the Terminal Tavren to unlax and to probe the pressing issues of the day. Much time was spent speculating on the quantity of plastic embedded in Pamela Anderson as well as soon less important topics. Dr. Thug’s and PJM’s return were duly toasted, Butcher Brophey duly roasted, compliments exchanged and vituperative epithets aimed at Mr. Obnoxious were launched.
6 Guinness, 7 Keiths, 2 Kilkenny, 4 Bass, 3 pounds of chicken wings (double deep fried) and second hand H1N1 antigens were consumed.

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