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Monday, November 16, 2009

Newton’s Laws Doubted and Flouted. Vice Pays The Price.

Strawbs Still Win.

Strawbs 5 Aviation Panthers 1

Game Report

November 12, 2009

With Whoa.horny busy brewing nitro in his basement lab without the knowledge or consent of his much younger wife, Christmas Carol, with Shiny blowing his kids’ RESPs in Las Vegas, with Warrin’ Peace self-pulled from the lineup to answer an ovulation window of opportunity and with Freight Train nursing an early evening hangover caused by the recent granting to him of a PhD or its ilk, the Strawbs found themselves shorthanded on the evening.

Archilles Perron was pressed into emergency service on defence, and, armoured with a perfect Zoloftian insouciance, led the team in defence. It was as if he had, all these years, been misplaced as a forward. He filled the many gaping pores left by his defence mates and was instrumental in keeping the opposition’s tallying to a single marker. That marker was the only blot a game well played by Monsieur Le Plug. The strange thing was the shot which crossed the goal line was no harder that anything Gumby or the Vice could launch with the best tail wind.
Speaking of the Vice, it should be noted that the Executive is beginning to wonder more worrifully about his on ice judgment. On one play, he was the last man back in precarious possession of the puck. An Aviation Panther, stumbling about on bob skates, approached him in a wobbly manner. The Vice seemed to be under the impression that he could easily flip the puck through the attacker’s chest, and, to everyone’s amazement proceeded to attempt the ill-advised manoeuvre. As the puck bounced off the opponent’s chest and landed in perfect position for the wobbler to head in alone on goal, the Vice looked positively perplexed at the unfairness of the universe. It won’t be his last encounter with bad judgment, the laws of physics and a cruel world.

It would appear that year’s of Strawbs’ coaching has finally sunk in for MagBoy. He played an excellent game. He corralled his unbridled enthusiasm, showed restraint in difficult situations and by and large stayed in the areas for which he was responsible. And that was at home at supper. He displayed similar behavior on ice.
Dr. Thug continued in his vocal leadership role by scaring the BeeJeezus out of the opposition’s netminder with his ear piecing “YAAAAAAAA!” every time the Strawbs scored. You cannot get better cheerleading.

The Strawbs continued to break attendance records. Loans Jones showed up to play with her Blackberry in the stands as her current boyfriend, the never early Pyjama man toiled expertly on ice. With Ms. Jones in attendance, it marked the third straight game that the Killer Strawberries were lavished with fan attention.
After the game, the fan and her Strawberrian entourage re-assembled at the Terminal Tavren to toast victory and the elevation of Freight train Laronde to the lofty heights of PiledHighandDeeperdom.

6 Stella, 4 Guinness, 2 Bass, 3 Kilkenny, 2 Keith’s White, 2 jugs(of water), 2 baskets on low cal fries and some lessons on the laws of physics were consumed.

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